Well as most of the people who know me know that i am pretty stable. i joke about a lot things but let me tell ya today has pretty much set the tone for a new day.

Here we are 9 days til christmas I havent bought anything for my kids. NO instead i have spent money to fix that fuckin van that just had to be purchased! then FIX THE FUCKIN THING!!! yeah lets not get it twisted. Thanks to my inlaws my van got a new fuel pump thanks guys. oh and lets make sure to thank them for the kids christmas since i am such a piece of shit provider that i cant even get the fuckin money up to make even the smallest gifts but it’s cool thats been taken care of by the inlaws again, thanks again guys..

how about the fuckin love I get from the wife oh yeah baby the kind of love that makes the barrel of my 9mm look inviting. i have become a depressed self loathing asshole who cant even provide for my kids i have to beg steal and borrow to make anything they have possible.

yes this is the rant of someone who basically feels like there aint much left.. tired of the fighting, the berating the bullshit of borrowing to get shit that just aint fuckin needed only to throw it away a couple months later or fuck it up and have to buy it again later. the lack of total respect from anyone… oh yeah people i am just about fuckin tired of the life i fuckin lead…

i have been sick for 2 months no one knows what the fuck is wrong with me but fuck it that aint nothing to worry bout anyways.

i have to say the only saving grace i have is the fact that the kids are quite literally the only fuckin reason i dont off myself right now.. this life is bullshit and i am fuckin tired of it…